Coming Home

I’ll be home in less than 24 hours. Anyone who knows me would know how much I miss home but for the first time in my life, I’m stuck in a weird place of wanting to see the world or stay where I am for an extended period of time.

I’ve always wondered why many of my friends would forsake Kuching for pastures far away. Some have migrated, many have settled elsewhere to work while lots more plan to do the same. I have never had that feeling of leaving Kuching for more than a month. A big-time small town boy is who I am.

In the past 3 years, I have traveled a lot either within Malaysia or South East Asia and that has always been enough for me. I leave for 2 weeks max and return satisfied with my experiences. In some ways, my trip to the US was to be a catalyst for me yearning to see more but I never really planned on acting on it. It has always been but a dream that I knew I could never live either because I could never afford it or I doubted my own ability to live in lands so much foreign to that of my own. As much as a risk taker I am (I don’t climb ladders all the way up coz I’m afraid of heights), I’m never quite prepared to take a dive into the deep end of the water. And as cliché as it would sound, now I find myself ready to throw caution into the wind and take a leap of faith.

Some would say I live my live recklessly anyways, that I take things as they come without really having any thought to the future or some sort of life plan. So whatever I want to do will not be any different from what I have been doing. While this may be true, I’ve always left room for a fall back. That everything I do is never really that far from home should I need to retreat.
I want to leave Kuching. My reasons for doing so are my own and need not be said or spoken to anyone else but me or maybe my mom. My conviction will be strong and my goals focused. While this might seem an exaggeration for some people, to me it’s not.

Exactly when I eventually get up and do it is another thing but I know that I will eventually return to Kuching for my burning ambition to make a difference will never die. In many ways, I am my fathers’ son. His devotion to serving his community has always been an admiration to me eventhough I’ve never really said it and watching him do it for as long as I can remember has burned that idea that one day I will do it too.

I have much stuff to blog about. But it’s hard to organize them so it’ll take a couple days to get sorted. Stay tuned for more on the adventures from the past 6 weeks.