I’ve always had the problem of telling someone, “I don’t love you.” Which explains my prolong suffering in many instances. I think of the words, I role-play and I memorize them. But when it comes to the crunch time, I crumble and in contrary actually salvage the relationship.
Is it written in the stars? If you believe in that then I’m doomed. Libras. Hah! Emotional puppets meant for easy manipulation. I am no exception although I was able to break free once. To be honest, it was more like I was forced to jump. When I think of it, it just happened so quickly. She was talking on the phone with the other guy while I waited to take her out for dinner. She then tells me she’s tired and wants to go to sleep…. on our 3rd year anniversary! I just snapped. And that was that.
Oh well, back to the present. I never did get a chance to explain myself but I guess this post will be able to transmit the message that I intended to say in person. No explanation needed, no sense of regret called for. It’s just one of those things. Could it have been different? I believe so under different circumstances and a different approach but I don’t mind. It was a recipe for disaster: 2 people of distance without both wanting to make a real commitment of sort. A little bit of time apart, a lot of non-communication and we have a time bomb just ticking and waiting to blow.
In all honesty, I’ve always thought it was over in January. I knew it was over by February. I’m back in the waters by March. Ok, I was back in the waters in January. So there! My bad.
The worst thing I could ever say and think at this point of time: 3 times is a charm. Hahaha! It’s like saying; Oh, you missed me with the first 2 shots. Try again! Wait, try using this shotgun.
“A dream that was you,
was never to be true,
I’m not feeling blue,
Let’s be friends too”
The thoughts of the wild 