10. You find things better with the lights off

9. Crime scene investigators are all gorgeous

8. Police detectives really don’t know how to solve crime

7. US tax-payers don’t mind paying for government-issued hummers

6. Las Vegas, New York and Miami have creative criminals

5. Eye-witnesses are normally the perpetrators

4. Miami has a permanent orange scenery

3. In Las Vegas, nothing ever happens during the daytime

2. The bad guys also know if there’s going to be a gun fight

1. For added effect, put on your sun-glasses just as you are about to say something and then walk away

10. There is no such thing as keeping left if not overtaking

9. Turning signal is only to be used during illegal turns

8. Car horn is used to say hi to a passing friend

7. Traffic lights are ignored after 11pm

6. 35km/h is an acceptable cruising speed

5. It’s fine to speed if you need to rush for a toilet

4. See an ambulance? Drive behind it to get a clear road

3. Stick a horse emblem on the hood and your car suddenly becomes a Ferrari

2. Seat belts are just another excuse to give you a traffic summons

1. Yellow line means free parking spaces for important people like yourself

One of the great Malaysian rock classic. Remember, the translation is not meant to be able to sing the song in English. It’s just a translation of the lyrics.

Lyrics

Lama mana lagi (How long more)
Hendak ku turutkan (Must I follow)
Kata telunjuk yang menuding kepalaku (These instructions embedded in my head)
Sabar apa lagi (How much patience)
Hendak ku turutkan (Must I follow)
Hingga aku bernafas bagai dalam lumpur (Until I’m breathing in mud)
Kasihan… (Pity)

Wajah kita sama (Our faces are the same)
Beza pada gaya (The difference is in style)
Itu pilihan masing-masing yang empunya (It’s a personal choice we choose)
Mungkin pada usia (Maybe at age)
Rasa yang berbeza (Feelings become different)
Yang penting kita saling hormat menghormati (The importance is in mutual respect)
Panduan… (A guide)

*
Kita tak dapat bersama (We can’t be together)
Namun kita juga manusia (But we’re still human)
Kita punya rasa cinta (We have love)
Masing-masing punya harga…oh..oh… (Each being priceless)

Mahu apa lagi (What more is wanted)
Akan aku korbankan (That I will sacrifice)
Selagi ada hayatku di kandung badan (As long as I have life in my body)
Oh terima kasih (Thank you)
Kerana balasan (For the response)
Semoga sejahteralah hidup semua (Hope everyone has a fruitful life)
Oh kawan (Oh, my friends)

(Back to * until the end of the song)

I’ve always dreamed big. No dream was ever too audacious enough for me. I know exactly what I’d do with $10,000,000. I know exactly how I’d govern the whole world. I have plans on combating global poverty and malnourishment. Climate change is any easy enough topic for me combat. But those dreams and plans will always remain a fantasy I play in my head when I’ve got nothing to do.

In the past few weeks, I’ve managed to turn the odds on some things in my life and made them reality. A courtship that I never thought could have materialized turned into a daring adventure and show of tremendous resolve both on my part and hers and is now a cherished reality I’m living out. My soured relationship with my previous organization is now a thing of the past and I’ve moved on and have opened avenues to future collaboration with them. I’ve reinvigorated my passion with human rights issues. And these things have started me to think about the things I want to achieve in my life.

I’ve talked about being in politics before but in my heart, I’ve always known that any involvement in politics in Sarawak means to sacrifice whatever you cherish the most. Successful politicians have to throw away their self-dignity and play kiss ass to the ones in real power. Struggling politicians have to bear their name being dragged through the mud without any remorse by the successful ones. All politicians will have to endure being followed by people only seeking immediate benefits for their loyalty. All elected representatives have to live the next 5 years of their terms knowing that whatever issues they promised to highlight during their election campaign will never be heard in the state assembly, let alone be resolved.

I’ve seen firsthand how Sarawak politics can make or break a person. My dad has been involved in it since I was born. It brought him great power and respect but it brought him down faster and lower than he has ever been. If I go down this road, I don’t have to look far for the possible consequences in store for me.

I want to do this. I want to run. It doesn’t matter if I fail and lose my deposit. I want to run as an independent candidate. I plan to run in either Batu Kawa or Kota Sentosa. It has always been a normal practice for a Chinese to run in these 2 seats but I want to show the state and country that we are ready to break the norm of majority race candidates. If we are going to continue claiming we are racially harmonious, then let’s show it.

Whether I stand next year really depends if I can garner enough support before registration and also if I’m actually around.

Question is now; will I dare to live the dream when the time comes to put my money where my mouth is?

Emma Bon!!!!

This was supposed to the first post of many adventures I had planned out for lil Emma. She was going to apply for a passport, create a facebook account, combat climate change and other regular activities dogs do from time to time. Sadly, I have to announce that this will be the first and last about Emma.

I came home Sunday morning and I asked my dad where Emma was and he said, “I cremated her.” Few days before I came back, Emma got sick and my parents took her to the vet. She was given medication but died a few days later.

It’s hard to walk around without this carpet rug on the floor. I miss Emma.

10. Spill control is overrated

9. It’s cheaper than paying 9 months of health care and years of baby formula

8. They’re flavoured now

7. It makes you look cool at the checkout counter

6. It makes a wonderful gadget to pick your nose with

5. It’s a great substitute when you’re at a birthday party with no ballons

4. It helps perfect the elephant immitation you’ve always dreamed of

3. You can stuff a condom with tissue to make your bits look bigger

2. Condoms are a great way of leaving behind trace DNA

1. You can get a blue coloured one and pretend you’re Anakin Skywalker

[Top 10 features every other Wednesday]

I kick-off this new thread with a simple introduction with the reason why I decided to write about Kuching and things that will likely be in this new thread.

I believe Kuching is the closest one can get to living in heaven. It’s one of those places on Earth that welcomes everyone and at the same time actually offers a home and not just a place to exist in. I’ve been to a few places in the world; Most parts of Manila, Kuala Lumpur, Penang, Singapore, Bandar Sri Begawan, Chiang Mai, Bangkok, Jakarta, Pontianak, Phnom Penn, Kathmandu, New York, Vancouver, LA, Honolulu (just to name a lot) and I still think Kuching is a special place. It’s not just because I’m born here. It’s not just because I’m being biased.

It’s everything about Kuching. It’s people, it’s food, it’s culture and it’s diversity. It’s more than what you see in travel advertistments. There’s more than meets the eye. And for that reason, Reasons Why Kuching will be my personal goal to re-introduce Kuching to the world. It will be my way of repaying Kuching for everything it has given me. My own gift to the local businesses that will prosper from people deciding to give Kuching a go.

The thread will feature its food, its places of interest and its people. It will be original with the twist of my style of writing. I’m hoping to hear from people who decide to come to Kuching on account of what I say.

Just to recap, Reasons Why Kuching will feature every Saturday starting October 3rd 2009.

People have been pondering this question a long time. This question has divided nations. This question has robbed families of ties. For so long, we as people have been asking ourselves this but never gave the question any time for fear that it may corrupt us of our senses. For fear that if thought about, may send us into a state that we may never wake up from.

Fear no more for I will willingly take up the challenge of providing you with the answer. A quest so daring and hard that it took me an hour to arrive at my final answer.

The question: If Superman and Batman got into a fight, who would win?

My answer: Superman!

Sometimes it’s not the answer but the justification for that answer. Here are my reasons.

1. Superman is super. He moves faster than a speeding bullet. Batman doesn’t even carry a gun.

2. Superman can fly. Batman only has a grappling gun and a hook.

3. Superman has x-ray vision. Batman has goggles.

4. Superman has heat vision. Batman has hot breath.

5. Superman can blow things down in one breath. Batman can’t.

6. Superman isn’t smart and he knows it. Batman isn’t smart but he pretends to be just to impress Robin.

In the event Batman got kryptonite and tried to use it to his advantage, apparently, he’ll still manage to screw things up. This is in light of new information provided by a research partner who said that Superman has a shorter cape which implies that it is less likely for him to get all tangled and flustered in his own cape during a fight.. Batman would probably trip over his cape and drop the kryptonite. She also goes on to mention Batman’s obvious dependence on Robin to hatch sophisticated plans. Since it’s a one-on-one fight, Batman would be clueless. She also believes that it is impossible for anyone to think with their heads squeezed into a pvc cap.

I’d think anyone jumping around with their underwear outside clearly isn’t thinking to begin with.

Conclusion

Without a shadow of a doubt, I think it’s clear to say that Superman would beat Batman in every fight. I wouldn’t bet on it but I’m fairly convinced with the probable outcome.

Side note; has anyone noticed that Superman’s ONLY weakness is pronounced creep-tonight? I’m just saying, I have a soft spot for creeping in the night too.

I’ll be home in less than 24 hours. Anyone who knows me would know how much I miss home but for the first time in my life, I’m stuck in a weird place of wanting to see the world or stay where I am for an extended period of time.

I’ve always wondered why many of my friends would forsake Kuching for pastures far away. Some have migrated, many have settled elsewhere to work while lots more plan to do the same. I have never had that feeling of leaving Kuching for more than a month. A big-time small town boy is who I am.

In the past 3 years, I have traveled a lot either within Malaysia or South East Asia and that has always been enough for me. I leave for 2 weeks max and return satisfied with my experiences. In some ways, my trip to the US was to be a catalyst for me yearning to see more but I never really planned on acting on it. It has always been but a dream that I knew I could never live either because I could never afford it or I doubted my own ability to live in lands so much foreign to that of my own. As much as a risk taker I am (I don’t climb ladders all the way up coz I’m afraid of heights), I’m never quite prepared to take a dive into the deep end of the water. And as cliché as it would sound, now I find myself ready to throw caution into the wind and take a leap of faith.

Some would say I live my live recklessly anyways, that I take things as they come without really having any thought to the future or some sort of life plan. So whatever I want to do will not be any different from what I have been doing. While this may be true, I’ve always left room for a fall back. That everything I do is never really that far from home should I need to retreat.
I want to leave Kuching. My reasons for doing so are my own and need not be said or spoken to anyone else but me or maybe my mom. My conviction will be strong and my goals focused. While this might seem an exaggeration for some people, to me it’s not.

Exactly when I eventually get up and do it is another thing but I know that I will eventually return to Kuching for my burning ambition to make a difference will never die. In many ways, I am my fathers’ son. His devotion to serving his community has always been an admiration to me eventhough I’ve never really said it and watching him do it for as long as I can remember has burned that idea that one day I will do it too.

I have much stuff to blog about. But it’s hard to organize them so it’ll take a couple days to get sorted. Stay tuned for more on the adventures from the past 6 weeks.

Ever since I got back, everyone has been asking me the same old question which is either intended as a joke or just affirms their aspiration to be the most annoying person I know. Since I got back on Tuesday, I have always been asked or spoken to in reference to being quarantined.

When I called up Clem on Tuesday, “You not quarantined?”

When I called Gary on Wednesday, “Thomas said you quarantined. You released already?”

When I called Thomas, “Friend, you were gone so long that I thought you were in quarantined.”

When I went to futsal on Thursday, “Dude, when did you get back? How come you’re not quarantined?” This was repeated 5 more times by different people at futsal.

When I went for badminton with my mom, her friends asked me, “Did you get quarantined?”

I just want to scream, YES. I WAS FUCKING QUARANTINED BUT I ESCAPED DETENTION SO I CAN SPREAD THE H1N1 TO EVERYONE IN KUCHING!