First posted on April 2nd, 2006 on Blogspot blog
Men will always be men. This was a statement told to me by my friend. She was defending the actions of married men who fool around at karaoke bars, pubs and clubs. She defended the immoralities of these men who have mistresses or women on the side. She defended while I prosecuted. She shielded these unfaithful bastards while at the same time, making me feel less of a man.
To be honest, a boyfriend cheating on his girlfriend is as bad as it gets but a man cheating on his wife is a one-way ticket to condemnation in hell. I get the impression that men are supposed to be unfaithful and monogamy is an unattainable solace. So what’s the point of marriages or formal ties between two people if it is understood that it will just be broken?
If men are supposed to cheat, I guess I was blessed with a loving father as well as faithful husbands around me. In their defense, she said that if they were to find love outside of their marriage then they should pursue their happiness. I have always thought that lust was a part of love but never is lust equal to love. These men aren’t looking for love; they’re looking for a good time. Case closed. Being unfaithful is being unfaithful.
Nearly all marriages, even happy ones, are mistakes: in the sense that almost certainly (in a more perfect world, or even with a little more care in this very imperfect one) both partners might be found more suitable mates. But the real soul-mate is the one you are actually married to.”
- J. R. R. Tolkien\ (1892 – 1973), Letter to Michael Tolkien, March 1941
If men are supposed to cheat, then until I cheat, I’ll never be a man? I would think not. If men were supposed to cheat, then I’d be considered more than a man. But this isn’t about me. It’s about them. Why do men cheat? And why are there sympathetic idiots who stand by their side? But then I wonder, which is worst? A wondering husband or a cheating wife?
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In my opinion & I’m not being biased here, but a wondering husband is worst. Why? Because he can get the other women pregnant and 20 yrs down the line, you get a knock on your door one day and boom! “Hi dad, I’m your bastard child”.
But for me, the worst of all is those who choose to stay with their cheating spouse.
Well, it’s hard to say. Honestly, if I was in the position of finding out my wife has a guy on the side, I’d probably not leave straight away. It was hard to leave when (name omitted for protection) was cheating on me and we weren’t even married. So, I dunno..
Ah!!! An idea for the next post.. I had a sudden epiphany..
methinks there’s a difference between emotional dependency and sticking on to salvage a relationship.
i should know that pretty well. i threw away a good half decade of my life because i couldn’t tell the difference. =)