Who Wants To Be A Dato???

With all these ridiculous datukships being given around like sweets, I decided to create my own shortlist of 10 people I think should be awarded the title Dato for 2009.

10. Eric Cantona

Eric Cantona will always be the legend of legends. He may not have had the blistering pace of Giggsy or Ronaldo but he lead with such panache that was a marvel to watch. He is my hero with his quirky quotes and though he claims to not have the same passion for football as he once had before, I’m sure there’s still a special place for the beautiful game in his heart.

He is a wonderful ambassador for the game and Matthew Simmons deserved what he got.

Dato Eric Daniel Pierre Cantona

9. Jessica Alba

She is hot. Why shouldn’t she be a Dato? The Sleeping Dictionary was an alright movie and gave more exposure of Sarawak than any Michelle Yeoh movie will provide for Malaysia. Plus, Jessica is way hotter than Michelle.

Dato Jessica Marie Alba

8. Chad Vader

Chad Vader is an inspiration for those living in the shadow of more successful siblings. While his older brother, Darth, is busy conquering the galaxy, Chad finds himself trying to conquer the grocery business. He may only be the day shift manager for now but I foresee him climbing to higher heights. He’s also hilarious.

Dato Chad Vader

7. My Right Foot

My right foot is equally important to me as my left foot but my right is more capable to delivering telling passes and crosses and has a more wicked shot. I have been abusing it with gaining weight and putting it under more strains and pressures to succeed and yet it comes through for me. I would happily give it the title of Dato.

Dato My Right Foot

6. Kurt Cobain

I’m only doing this because I know for a fact someone might go ballistic should I not include him in my list. I sometimes wonder if he’d experience the same hype and following had he NOT put a hole in his head. Anyways, I give him datukship for his… errr… contribution to the grunge genre.

Dato Kurt Cobain

5. John Hunter

He is a folklore hero. He came, he lost a few teeth and he became a champ! This striker who plays with his heart and head (just the head not the insides) is still spoken about with adoration. Never mind if he played for Penang, he is Sarawakian through and through. It was either he or Alan Vest but I think he deserves it more.

Dato John Hunter

4. Emma Bon

Emma is too cute not to be included. She’s just so cute. She is the embodiment of cute. She’s cute. I can’t really think of any other reason to justify her inclusion. I know! She’ll boost the tourism business. I don’t know how but I’m pretty sure she will. Why not? She’s cute!

Dato Emma Bon

3. Mary Joanna

Look at the photo. I’ll just leave it at that.

Dato Mary Joanna aka Cannabis

2. Superman

Superman is a fantastic symbol of hope and peace and should have been given this a long time ago. Let’s face it, he can fly, has superhuman strength and x-ray vision. With his preference of bright red and blue and his underwear on the outside, he can also be a symbol for the queer community.

Dato Superman

1. Lion-O

Who better to a Dato in Kuching than the supreme leader of the Thundercats? Lion-O might still be learning the ropes on being a leader but he still manages to kick Mumm-Ra’s ass. He is my main pick for datukship.

Dato Lion-O

That concludes my list for datukships in 2009. At least you can be sure that none of the recipients paid to be on the list.